So I started writing this post weeks ago as a real whinge about yet another set of fashion rules that I’m becoming conscious of. Rules relating to age appropriateness. My notes for the blog at the time mention Baddie Winkle and buying the most amazing Disney handbags ever (I'll come on to that later)
I can’t even remember now what specifically inspired the post, but the gist was going to be that I’m sick of seeing comments made suggesting an outfit isn’t right for someone's age with no real thought to the impact that comment will have on the individual in question.
As a plus size female working in a male dominated professional environment and a parent, I have received my fair share of unsolicited comments about what I’m wearing and how it’s not flattering or not the right colour or not the right length and then when I change my look and revert back to what I’m comfortable in I get told I’ve lost my personality and I should stop wearing black and I should make more of an effort.
So to now feel like I have to also contend with dressing for my age has me on the verge of becoming a hermit who only communicates online and lives in PJ's
I just can't win.
As becoming a hermit isn’t really a valid option, despite really wanting it to be, I have been braving the internet and browsing books to try and find a style resource I could really rely on to help.
I have found some amazing books for inspiration (and I'll share these at some point) but I needed an idiot’s guide of getting from A to B
I thought I had found that in Lauren Messiah, a Los Angeles based personal stylist, speaker, educator, and a style expert. A few days ago after catching up on her YouTube videos, I was all but ready to purchase her e-book 'The book of Style' when I saw that on her website she had a free e-book called 'Style for the ages' along with a myriad of posts about dressing for your age.
In a split second, I decided that I couldn’t trust her view as it was clearly built around these societal expectations regarding age that I don’t want to feel I have to conform
As quickly as I made that decision I came to my senses and appreciated I had no basis for my feelings so away I went and downloaded and read the book.
And then I watched one of Laurens Facebook live videos and something clicked....
For me, the phrase should be lifestyle appropriate not age appropriate
To me, this book and the blogs were no longer about how you have to dress at 30/40/50.
It was about how to dress for the lifestyle you may have in your 30’s/40's/50's and that I can fully appreciate.
The e-book mentions my personal work style icon Victoria Beckham and it no longer mattered that she was mentioned in the 40's section. Regardless of age, she portrays the image of a professional business woman and that’s the look I'm trying to portray (during the week anyway).
I shall now be buying Laurens e-book and following her guidelines to improve my work and social wardrobe in a way that I am comfortable with.
I am also going to fully embrace being a hermit when I can and will be investing in a pair of tracksuit bottoms with poppers (that I was never cool enough to have a school) to wear around the house.
I will also continue to drool over these amazing handbags from Danielle Nicole , that being Snow White (my ultimate icon), I should have grown out of years ago.
pictures (C) danielle-nicole.com
Click the pictures for more info
I have managed to write quite a bit without actually covering anything so I shall stop here before it gets worse.
To summarise the post:
Don’t judge a book by its cover – literally or figuratively.
More importantly, dress for you and your lifestyle. It is this I shall be working on from now.
Thank you for investing a little bit of your time in me
Tess
If you're interested in why I am writing about my need to address my style read my blog intro here.
“I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it.”
Alexander McQueen